71. no pants night continues

the excitement never stops here at mi casa.  no-pants night continues on.  i have finished off the last of another book this evening: Vision in White by Nora Roberts.  Let me just say that was a whole lot of fluff in a whole lot of large-fonted, big-margined pages..... but it works.  the end result made me smile, which i suppose is the point of reading these fluffy nora roberts novels.  i am dissapointed to have finally read one of her books and realized it was so shitty, though.  she produces a lot of books (according to wikipedia, over 165)  she has also been in the number one bestseller slot for over 100 weeks combined with all of these books.  why?  this writing is crappy (no offense, nora, i am ultimately impressed with your skills- i am, after all, the one sitting at home alone on a friday night blogging about your book rather than writing my own....) and the sex scenes aka the entire reason to read one of these shitty romance novels are not good at all.  they are super fake and there arent' enough details to result in lady wood, which is what we all want from these graphic and corny descriptions of loooovvvve making.  so frankly, i just don't get it.  but i can now say that i have read one of these nora roberts stories.  and next time, i will pick up a harlequin blaze novel instead.  they are really graphic and corny and there are more of these looovvvee scenes than there are of the will they- won't they? drama.  VERY NICE! GREAT SUCCESS!  let me sum up my no-pants  night ramblings:

Nora Roberts= bad

Harlequin Blaze series= deliciously bad

*wink wink*

#15: my dearest john, you suck

i am usually all for the sappy, ill-written, mass-produced sob fest books created for sappy romantics and teenage girls..... but this one :


Dear John, by Nicholas Sparks, was gayer than Brokeback Mountain. no offense ("not that there's anything wrong with that!" -my dearest friend, Jerry Seinfeld) i know it is "politically incorrect" to indicate how lame and wrong things are by referring to them as quote-unquote "gay", but i have no political qualms. and this book was very gay. let me just say that a book written in first person perspective, from a MAN's point of view, should not dwell quite so much on these sappy, annoying feelings and emotions and state it in such a 'this is how i feel and this is why i feel and blah blah blah' we get it, you're fucking in love. with a girl that u spent a week with on the beach. while you were on leave from the army. how fucking original, nicholas sparks. man up and find your balls, dude. this is not the way bestselling authors are supposed to sound. at least add something unpredictable, some grit, some real story-telling. and i did not cry a single tear. because the story was lame. the writing was lame. and life is a lot worse than this horrible wanna-be sob story.... i wasn't expecting realism from this author, but i was expecting something a lot more compelling than this crap. yuck. i know you can do better, mr. sparks, i have read 'a walk to remember' and sobbed in all its sappy glory.
but has anyone seen the movie? i bet they can make it a lot better than the book. one of the few cases. even though the story sucks, i will probably cave and see it anyway at some point in my life. after all, a girl in my lit class said she cried harder than she has cried at any other movie, so it can't be too bad, right? what a skewed sense of reality i have......