93. "God bless us, every one!"

i needed a little incentive to get into the holiday spirit.  i am having an especially difficult time this year for some reason- i've tried forcing myself to listen to christmas songs on the radio, i make myself go into the decorating section of target (where everything sparkles!), and i put in the extra mile when i was wrapping gifts for my loved ones.  but i'm still having a hard time.  first of all, it feels like january outside already.  snow, bitter cold winds, and icy sidewalks= january to me.  second, christmas this year means i'm not going to be with all my loved ones; my habibi's birthday is christmas day and he will either be in a town 6 hours away or on his way to the other side of the planet (literally).  i'm afraid christmas will just magnify the feelings of missing him.  thankfully all of my friends will be at home over this break, so i will have them to lean on. 
anyway, in the effort to get in the christmas spirit and cross another number off my list, i read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.  I had never read it, only seen it (most recently in Muppet format :) yay) It was great.  I was surprised by how easy it was to read Dickens' writing.  I thought he would have written in ancient, crotchety Olde English, but that was not the case at all.  And *spoiler alert* Tiny Tim lives to see the Christmases Future, and Scrooge lives happily ever after.  what a lovely story.  *

49. everything is illuminated in the dark

Jonathan Safran Foer's Everything is Illuminated
I am always intrigued by how much darkness amplifies things.  Waking up from a scary dream in the dark is much more terrifying than waking up in light.  The sounds you hear outside and inside are much louder when it is nighttime.  Even your sight seems to increase in the dark- little things you never noticed during the daylight are much more noticeable when they are ensconced in shadow.  Feelings seem to also seem much more intense in the night hours.  But is that because the rest of the world seems to be asleep (or wide awake when you want to be asleep.... aka the partying neighbors)?  And there is less to think about because you are left to your own devices?  I am currently left to my own devices and I am a little upset.  I should be snuggled up and snoozing right now, but i am not.  do certain things, like darkness, illuminate other aspects of life?  Does the past illuminate the future (or vice versa)?  Does the absence or presence of family/friends/loves illuminate our own selves?  In my mind this is what Safran Foer was trying to ask.... maybe I'm wrong. 

Good book, though.  The past and the future and the friends and the family and the lightness and darkness and absence and presence of sound illuminate ourselves and our true identities.  And there is nothing we can do to change that.

no books today

I'm bored.  I'm waiting for the set of nails on one hand to dry so that I can paint the others (and wait again.... then start all over with top coat).  I haven't talked to my mom on the phone today, so I don't know how the dog is doing.  I have felt like I'm forgetting something major for the past 4 days, and I don't feel like reading.  I want to talk to my man friend on the phone or on line or something, even though I'm not really in the mood for talking.  I just feel like I need to output.  I have been input all day with stuff- TV, books, textbooks, websites, facebook, shopping, cooking, more tv, putting the trash out..... but no output.  its kind of strange.  i feel all bottled up but i have absolutely nothing to say.  i really never do.  but i say it anyway.  but tonight is different.  maybe its because im on edge because of the whole 'feel like im forgetting something' scenario.  but what? WHAT AM I FORGETTING????  somebody please tell me, b/c i don't know.  obviously.  that was a dumb statement.  blah bleddy bloobedy so i call my friend.

#14: lovely lovely

Something Blue, by Emily Giffin

That's right, i have read another book in only ONE day! needless to say, i had to brag about my impressive ability to read and complete disregard for time spent doing "productive" things. i read an entire book and chatted on the internet today. what did you do? :)

i feel warm and fuzzy. not to say that this book wasn't totally predictable, but im a sucker for a great ending.

most of all though, i am enjoying basking in my room. it's 12:30 on a friday night, or saturday morning, depending on your point of view, and i have enjoyed countless hours wrapped up in my quilt, snuggled up with pillows and ensconced (yeah, i went there) in the nice pinkish glow of my lamps and christmas lights. last i saw, it was snowing puffy, swirling snowflakes outside and i am more than happy to be doing absolutely nothing interesting this weekend. i love my room, which is a really good thing, considering how many hours i stay holed up in here. i wish i could share my room with more people, but then again i don't, because it's my room and nobody could appreciate it like me, as it is entirely my taste and catering to my liking. i feel like a beach boy, but i really could go on about my room for a while, which would be quite showy, and i don't like to be showy. but tonight, reading about the misfortunes and joys of darcy and ethan and rachel and dex, i came to realize just how happy i am to be here. i hope you are happy too, wherever you may be. :)

*peace and love*

and, because i couldn't get too sappy on you, here's a little somethin' somethin' from my favorite movie-film friend: