91. tear jerkers

when i realized that i could read books for free on my droid phone, i was very excited.  this must have been why i opted to add Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook to my "Shelf."  i'm not saying i regret the decision to read this tear-jerker, but i will say that i didn't appreciate having to hold back the tears on the bus this afternoon.  someone gave me a funny look- i think he thought i was choking or something.  nevertheless, i liked it.  i recently watched the move from beginning to end for the first time (and sobbed like a baby.  then my roommate walked in at the end and had to leave the room to avoid sobbing like a baby)  but in a good way.  which makes me wonder: why do women enjoy making themselves cry?  i don't enjoy crying all the time, in fact it is usually unwelcome as it pops up in unfortunate times and places for very strange reasons- sadness, frustration, happiness, going too long without eating.... you girls know this list all too well, i'm sure.  but i will admit, as will most of the females that i have spoken to in my life, that i enjoy tear-jerker movies, books, tv shows, conversations, etc etc a little too much.  why do i want to make myself blotchy and sniffly?  it's kind of sick really.  although i once read an article that said studies have found that tears actually are one of nature's ways to rid your body of negative toxins.... i wish i had written down where i read that, but it was a legit source and there were many studies done on the positive effects that crying had on the body.  do girls have more toxins to shed or are we just more weepy because of the estrogen?  or maybe guys secretly cry just as much as girls do, they are just ashamed and hide it verrrry well.  anyway, the notebook caused me to choke up in a good way.  one of sparks' books that i give a thumbs up to.  A Walk to Remember is also a good one that causes readers to weep for pages.  in fact, that was one of the first books to make me legitimately cry.  bellissimo.  sometimes.

#15: my dearest john, you suck

i am usually all for the sappy, ill-written, mass-produced sob fest books created for sappy romantics and teenage girls..... but this one :


Dear John, by Nicholas Sparks, was gayer than Brokeback Mountain. no offense ("not that there's anything wrong with that!" -my dearest friend, Jerry Seinfeld) i know it is "politically incorrect" to indicate how lame and wrong things are by referring to them as quote-unquote "gay", but i have no political qualms. and this book was very gay. let me just say that a book written in first person perspective, from a MAN's point of view, should not dwell quite so much on these sappy, annoying feelings and emotions and state it in such a 'this is how i feel and this is why i feel and blah blah blah' we get it, you're fucking in love. with a girl that u spent a week with on the beach. while you were on leave from the army. how fucking original, nicholas sparks. man up and find your balls, dude. this is not the way bestselling authors are supposed to sound. at least add something unpredictable, some grit, some real story-telling. and i did not cry a single tear. because the story was lame. the writing was lame. and life is a lot worse than this horrible wanna-be sob story.... i wasn't expecting realism from this author, but i was expecting something a lot more compelling than this crap. yuck. i know you can do better, mr. sparks, i have read 'a walk to remember' and sobbed in all its sappy glory.
but has anyone seen the movie? i bet they can make it a lot better than the book. one of the few cases. even though the story sucks, i will probably cave and see it anyway at some point in my life. after all, a girl in my lit class said she cried harder than she has cried at any other movie, so it can't be too bad, right? what a skewed sense of reality i have......