71. no pants night continues

the excitement never stops here at mi casa.  no-pants night continues on.  i have finished off the last of another book this evening: Vision in White by Nora Roberts.  Let me just say that was a whole lot of fluff in a whole lot of large-fonted, big-margined pages..... but it works.  the end result made me smile, which i suppose is the point of reading these fluffy nora roberts novels.  i am dissapointed to have finally read one of her books and realized it was so shitty, though.  she produces a lot of books (according to wikipedia, over 165)  she has also been in the number one bestseller slot for over 100 weeks combined with all of these books.  why?  this writing is crappy (no offense, nora, i am ultimately impressed with your skills- i am, after all, the one sitting at home alone on a friday night blogging about your book rather than writing my own....) and the sex scenes aka the entire reason to read one of these shitty romance novels are not good at all.  they are super fake and there arent' enough details to result in lady wood, which is what we all want from these graphic and corny descriptions of loooovvvve making.  so frankly, i just don't get it.  but i can now say that i have read one of these nora roberts stories.  and next time, i will pick up a harlequin blaze novel instead.  they are really graphic and corny and there are more of these looovvvee scenes than there are of the will they- won't they? drama.  VERY NICE! GREAT SUCCESS!  let me sum up my no-pants  night ramblings:

Nora Roberts= bad

Harlequin Blaze series= deliciously bad

*wink wink*

46. letting go- by being a blonde!

Letting Go, by Mara Fox

Alright, it's a cheesy romance novel, so what?  it's the summer time.  which means every one needs a little cheesy romance.  everyone needs to let go in some sense of the word.  i let go of my dark hair recently- i am now a blonde!  i can't even believe it- yesterday morning when i looked in the mirror in the morning i didn't even recognize myself for a second.  tell me that's not a freaky thing to do!  other than that, i'm trying to let go my death grip on old ways.  the old me used to be quite clingy.  and possessive.  and lazy.  but i'm trying to buck up and let go a little bit on the things in life.  if they are really so good for me, God will keep them close to my heart right?  and a little hard work never killed anyone *knock on wood*.  so, dear reader, if there is in fact anyone reading this, what are you going to let go of?

38. another little lady realizes she's made a big mistake....

i may be a little over dramatic at that one, but this third installment of the little lady agency actually turned out to be quite my favorite with the exception of a few key points: her sister's little "suprise" birthing at Romney Hall when no one even knew she was pregnant.... pardone moi?  the scary nanny on the sideburner when it should have been much more of an issue.... and last but not least, the whole reason we love to read these little lady books, which is why we stick around to book 3 in the series, The Little Lady Agency and the Prince by Hester Browne, was to hear about the silly, witty, utterly insane things she does for her agency's clientelle.  That, and her dashing romantic schemes.  I wasn't sure i saw this particular one coming for sure, but it's fairly predictable.  but i'm glad it worked out.  *SPOILER ALERT* now im wondering if there is a little lady and nelson storycoming up next.  i would really like for there to be finally a little lady wedding of her own with her dashing and lovable labrador beau.  now that would make great fiction.  nothing has more hassles and crises and humor involved than wedding planning.  am i crazy to think that i would someday like to do that for other people?  my friends who actually are getting married really see my advice and ideas as "oh that's nice, molly's talking again about color schemes and dress patterns."  but really, i see some sort of future.  unless i can be a professional reader and be surrounded by a shunnup of my dreams and a pack of loveable yet squirrelly dogs, there really is no other future for me than wedding planning.  besides maybe teaching.  i suppose i should actually do something about that whole school degree thingamajig that i am aiming for..... ah well.  details, mon, details.

28, The Treasure

The Treasure by Iris Johansen

ah how i love mass produced romance novel/adventure stories!  they really are great- corny where you need them to be (the sex and romance scenes- duh!) and somehow, this one had a little substance to it.... some nice messages about being with the one you love and keeping sacred things close.  some little tidbits of wisdom found in a $4.49 paperback from costco- here's a few:

"But possibilities must be faced before they became realities that caught you by suprise."

"One must always smile or weep.  Smiling is better."

these quotes prove one thing that i've always suspected- there are good messages hiding in the strangest places, waiting to make themselves available to you. 

#15: my dearest john, you suck

i am usually all for the sappy, ill-written, mass-produced sob fest books created for sappy romantics and teenage girls..... but this one :


Dear John, by Nicholas Sparks, was gayer than Brokeback Mountain. no offense ("not that there's anything wrong with that!" -my dearest friend, Jerry Seinfeld) i know it is "politically incorrect" to indicate how lame and wrong things are by referring to them as quote-unquote "gay", but i have no political qualms. and this book was very gay. let me just say that a book written in first person perspective, from a MAN's point of view, should not dwell quite so much on these sappy, annoying feelings and emotions and state it in such a 'this is how i feel and this is why i feel and blah blah blah' we get it, you're fucking in love. with a girl that u spent a week with on the beach. while you were on leave from the army. how fucking original, nicholas sparks. man up and find your balls, dude. this is not the way bestselling authors are supposed to sound. at least add something unpredictable, some grit, some real story-telling. and i did not cry a single tear. because the story was lame. the writing was lame. and life is a lot worse than this horrible wanna-be sob story.... i wasn't expecting realism from this author, but i was expecting something a lot more compelling than this crap. yuck. i know you can do better, mr. sparks, i have read 'a walk to remember' and sobbed in all its sappy glory.
but has anyone seen the movie? i bet they can make it a lot better than the book. one of the few cases. even though the story sucks, i will probably cave and see it anyway at some point in my life. after all, a girl in my lit class said she cried harder than she has cried at any other movie, so it can't be too bad, right? what a skewed sense of reality i have......

#8,9,10: not getting ready for school

so valentine's day is almost upon us. i have decided to up the level of horniness and read a delightful, 3 in 1 romance novel entitled,




Bad Boys in Black Tie

by Lori Foster, Erin McCarthy, and Morgan Leigh



yes, 3 authors because there are 3 books within this book. So far i have read 2, "Good with his Hands" and "Miss Extreme Congeniality." I plan on finishing "Last Call" today, making this a very appropriate time to count off how many i have read thus far in the year. This, according to my still-half-asleep counting (aka correct me if im legitimately wrong), would be books number 9, 10, and 11. deeeelightful. Let me just say that "Good with his Hands" has been my fav so far- in the words of Zack of Zack & Miri Make a Porno fame, he "eats the pussy." while this isn't necessarily my favorite activity in real life, its the best in trashy romance novels such as these. both hilarious and sensual at once! how can it get any better? oh, perhaps it is how they finish multiple times, within seconds of touching each other, then fall, gasping for breath, into each others arms, with the girl thinking 'oh my goodness, he's such a bad boy, and i know he doesn't feel this way for me, but i think im in love,' and the man thinking, 'im so in love she's so beautiful i cant believe this gorgeous babe let me grace her precense long enough to make love to her. do u think she feels the same way too?' this is where the obvious flaw is in most of these romance novels. they are all OBVIOUSLY written by females. because in reality, the situation goes more like this, boy meets girl, both are intrigued, rip at each other like wild animals, then fall to the bed. girl thinks: 'wow, how's my breath? that was amazing. how many girls has he done that with to know to do that? i wonder if we will have pink roses at our wedding? will it be in my hometown or his? when is it appropriate for me to get up and put my clothes on- my fat is jiggling all over the place...." meanwhile, the boy thinks: "fuck yeah. oh im spent. fuck yeah. shit im sweaty. will she get pissed if i pass out and sleep for hours now? is it worth it? yeah....0fffuuuucccckkkk...."
alright, that may have been a simulated thought process.....whatever, im avoiding getting dressed to go out into the real world. yuck. although the snow is gorgeous right now, which is cool. literally.