43. not so smitten with this reading

it's hard to be smitten with life when you feel like you are losing the love of your life.  luckily i finished this book last night, before the storm blew through, otherwise i might not have been able to handle the "difficulties" that lizbeth and matt faced in getting together in Janet Evanovich's Smitten.  she can't handle their chemistry and the fact that he is perfect with her children, has money, protects her, and pleases her immensely in bed.  poor lizbeth. some of us actually have real relationship problems and it is eating away at my insides.  how do you deal if one person can't handle something and wants to step away while the other one is still hanging on?  it's one of those questions that pops up in many people's lives, and in many fictional situations, but it isn't ever really dealt with.  either one person remembers why they love the other one who is holding on so dearly or the other has to forge through their feelings and move on when they are not ready to.  i know everything happens for a reason, but it's hard to believe that such pain happens for a reason.  that's the problem with relationships- they are so SO good when everything is fine between the two people, but when any glitches happen, it can be the worst feeling in the world.  how can someone expect to live their life if they keep getting hurt by people they trust?  what if everything else is so great, except for one tiny detail that is hard?  it's worth it to stay, right?  or is the trust and love broken forever?  can i do anything to gain it back? 

i wish i could just disappear in one of my novels and become one of the characters who loves comes to so easily and eagerly sometimes.  is that why i read so much?  but my life is so good when its good.  and it was until this morning and now i can't even focus on the next book i'm reading because i can't stop thinking about how much it hurts and how much more it might hurt if..... i ccan't even say it.  i hope and pray for anyone out there in my predicament and i hope i can make it- no, i hope WE can make it through....