41. love the one you're with.... because you are with them?

Now, I normally love Emily Giffin's work, which is why I read Love the One You're With, her fourth novel, with enthusiasm this last week.  Unfortunately Ellen, her main character in this one, wouldn't stop bitching and overanalyzing her perfect little life with an amazing husband and family and job yada yada yada.  she is so full of resentment for i don't even know what that it was a real pain in the ass to read.  especially when she turns that resentment and boredom into a possible affair with an ex-lover who everybody knows is a jerk..... i couldn't stand it.  if you don't let go of past loves, do you block the possibility of full love for your future?  or do you open up different places in your heart for those new loves?  most people will probably sympathize with giffin's main character's holding a flame for a past love, but her bitching and whining and then sort of blurring the lines on what she can and can't do with this flame?  not so much.  suck it up, yeah? 

that being said, this book made me feel that there is another layer to love that we don't understand until it is tested and really thought about- commitment.  time commitments are one thing.  commiting to love somebody through the difficult parts of life and the great parts?  something else entirely.  it's a boring aspect of love to ponder when you consider all of the wonderful, swept off-your-feet lovey stuff, but it's something that makes real love real.  i suppose that's why the wedding ceremony is such and important and vital part of love- it's making that solid commitment in front of people (with witnesses-ha ha-) to hold on to your love and cherish it and ride it through the hard parts and the joy rides.  yet another reason why i love LOVE.   there are so many parts that pop up and swirl together and mix up to make the most perfect and most difficult emotions that a human can face.  heartbreak sucks, but when its all said and done, being in love with someone who you are committed to and learning everything about that love is worth any past pain and hardship with any other sub-par love.  awwww love is so sweet*