is really a phenomenal read. it is meant for children, but there are so many things that i didn't get when i read it in fourth grade that it was definitely worth picking up again. I tried telling my advising teacher that i am observing and he seemed really uninterested. in fact, he always seems slightly uninterested in whatever comes out of my mouth. a lot of people i have had the pleasure of talking to lately seem to have this problem. am i boring? what's the deal? why won't anybody listen to meeeee? there are a select few who do actually stop talking long enough to listen to what i have to say about life and i really appreciate them. i realize most of my life is filled with trivial crap that is completely irrelevent to 99.9% of the population, but it is important to me, just like everyone else has trivial crap that is important to them. so you know what? i am going to vent a little right here, right now. i am currently skipping class because i had a mini-meltdown and decided not to go sit and brew over it in the middle of a classroom. so i headed home (which involved the longest wait for a bus that i have had in quite some time) after my phone died, in the middle of a deep and importnat conversation that i was having with my mom. we aren't as close as we once were- and i'm not sure if i want that or not. there is one thing that is wedging between us and that is the ever-present relationship that i have taken up..... and it isn't the fact that i am in this relationship that is wedging between us, but the fact that i cannot tell her about this HUGE new part of my life until i have deemed that the time is right (or until they find out some how and i am forced to tell her). i wouldn't mind suffering the consequences for telling my parents about this relationship, but i don't want to tell them until everything is right. the question begs, 'will it ever be right?' i dont know. but i do know that i'm freaking out and this is the least of my worries at the moment. i'm worried about the weather for driving, my final projects and papers that are due every single fucking day, the fact that i cannot sleep very well at night, the fact that i have headaches every morning when i wake up, the fact that i don't know what/where i'm going to work this summer........ ugh it's giving me a headache right now. and i don't have any money left to buy any ibuprofen. (just kidding on that last one.... well sort of). i hope no one has actually taken the time to read through this, hoping in vain that i would have a deep philosophical point at the end, because i sure don't. mostly i just needed to bitch a bit. and i'm not going to apologize for this because no one is forcing you to read this. but i hope you are having a lovely day.
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