Why 100?

Last year I set out to read 100 books, but I ran out of time and only read 75. So this year, I will read one hundred books. And you're my witness :) The only thing stopping me this year is 9 seasons' worth of Seinfeld episodes- wish me luck!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

#8,9,10: not getting ready for school

so valentine's day is almost upon us. i have decided to up the level of horniness and read a delightful, 3 in 1 romance novel entitled,

Bad Boys in Black Tie

by Lori Foster, Erin McCarthy, and Morgan Leigh

yes, 3 authors because there are 3 books within this book. So far i have read 2, "Good with his Hands" and "Miss Extreme Congeniality." I plan on finishing "Last Call" today, making this a very appropriate time to count off how many i have read thus far in the year. This, according to my still-half-asleep counting (aka correct me if im legitimately wrong), would be books number 9, 10, and 11. deeeelightful. Let me just say that "Good with his Hands" has been my fav so far- in the words of Zack of Zack & Miri Make a Porno fame, he "eats the pussy." while this isn't necessarily my favorite activity in real life, its the best in trashy romance novels such as these. both hilarious and sensual at once! how can it get any better? oh, perhaps it is how they finish multiple times, within seconds of touching each other, then fall, gasping for breath, into each others arms, with the girl thinking 'oh my goodness, he's such a bad boy, and i know he doesn't feel this way for me, but i think im in love,' and the man thinking, 'im so in love she's so beautiful i cant believe this gorgeous babe let me grace her precense long enough to make love to her. do u think she feels the same way too?' this is where the obvious flaw is in most of these romance novels. they are all OBVIOUSLY written by females. because in reality, the situation goes more like this, boy meets girl, both are intrigued, rip at each other like wild animals, then fall to the bed. girl thinks: 'wow, how's my breath? that was amazing. how many girls has he done that with to know to do that? i wonder if we will have pink roses at our wedding? will it be in my hometown or his? when is it appropriate for me to get up and put my clothes on- my fat is jiggling all over the place...." meanwhile, the boy thinks: "fuck yeah. oh im spent. fuck yeah. shit im sweaty. will she get pissed if i pass out and sleep for hours now? is it worth it? yeah....0fffuuuucccckkkk...."
alright, that may have been a simulated thought process.....whatever, im avoiding getting dressed to go out into the real world. yuck. although the snow is gorgeous right now, which is cool. literally.

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