
Why 100?
Last year I set out to read 100 books, but I ran out of time and only read 75. So this year, I will read one hundred books. And you're my witness :) The only thing stopping me this year is 9 seasons' worth of Seinfeld episodes- wish me luck!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
62. SHWWIINNNG!
Yeah, that's right, I read Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men last night between writing about Cargegie's book and going to bed. SHWING! and i was worried about not reading enough books quickly enough. well, i can. and i will. no doubts about it. i'm going to read read read today (homework, but still) possibly going out to the park to do so. All I will say about this "classic" american literature is that it is really sad and i am glad that i don't have to live during the depression and the dust bowl and be a migrating worker and yada yada yada. thank you God for letting me live in an age where i can read about what this was like and then get on the internet and learn how to make a recipe and all the while watching a wedding on live tv (today show. man i love it) congrats to the happy couple- the dress was beautiful.
can't wait to take care of my own mouse killer and walk down the aisle in the beatimus white dress..... lacy and silky and -sigh- beautiful. although my mouse killer does so on purpose and doesn't keep them in his pocket to pet. and he doesn't kill puppies. killing puppies isn't okay any way you swing it. because they look like this. so cute.

Labels:
classic literature,
dress,
john steinbeck,
marriage,
mice,
of mice and men,
puppies,
today show,
wedding
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
61. a book that will change my life
I am really astonished at the way this book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, by Dale Carnegie, has blown away my freakish need to worry and fret over every little damn thing. If you can believe it, i was worried a couple of weeks ago about EVERYTHING (actually, you probably can believe it if you have been reading along with my literary journey..... i was a little shifty this past month as far as moods go). i was so freakin stressed out about stuff that i was worried i wouldn't finish my 100 books this year. first of all, why worry about that? it is a personal goal, that i happen to be writing about to an audience of, oh, i dunno, one person, maybe two (or none? who knows?). second of all- who cares? if not now, i will get to a 100 a year some day. but i'm not saying this to talk down about my goal. i really am invested in reading a hundred books this year. and blabbering about them endlessly on the world wide web to whomever feels like reading about it. that's why i've busted my butt to read 61 books so far. in case no one noticed, thats a lot of books. if you figure that each book i read had an average of about 300 pages, that's um..... (i'm no math expert here, clearly, as my nose is stuck in books 24/7).....18,300 pages i've read in that past 9 months. and that's just the books i've read in full. what about those articles, cookbook instructions, magazines, newspapers, textbook entries, websites, emails..... the list goes on. i'll stop being heady and just leave it at the fact that i'm no slouch when it comes to digesting words. but this book was really fibrous. this book stuck to my insides and sloshed around in my brain. its going to take me a while to digest this puppy and i'm glad. i just might go back to it again and again, as the handsome devil who gave it to me does (by the way- thank you!) and all the people who have bought it to keep it in print since 1944 probably have. (i know! 1944!) it hasn't lost an ounce of relevance. and you know what has really sunk in and gone into the bloodstream since i have started reading it? chill out. deal with what comes at you day by day and enjoy what life has to offer. pray and leave your worries to God. appreciate the good things and do what you can immediately to banish the bad things.
DUH!!!!! i had to smack my head a couple times while reading this to say "no duh! why were you stressing out about shit that you have no control over? why did it take a book from the 40s to make you realize you have an AWESOME life and an AWESOME God?" but it did take a book to bring this to attention and there were many other lessons that i still can't begin to process because i'm still too busy realizing what an idiot i 've been in my worry and stress and anxiety. chill out. be a good person. -sigh- thank you, Habibi and mr. carnegie, for making me realize what an idiot i've been. and i say that with no irony or self deprecation at all- i mean that. no need to be snarky tonight :)
DUH!!!!! i had to smack my head a couple times while reading this to say "no duh! why were you stressing out about shit that you have no control over? why did it take a book from the 40s to make you realize you have an AWESOME life and an AWESOME God?" but it did take a book to bring this to attention and there were many other lessons that i still can't begin to process because i'm still too busy realizing what an idiot i 've been in my worry and stress and anxiety. chill out. be a good person. -sigh- thank you, Habibi and mr. carnegie, for making me realize what an idiot i've been. and i say that with no irony or self deprecation at all- i mean that. no need to be snarky tonight :)
Labels:
appreciation,
chill out,
dale carnegie,
duh,
God,
how to stop worrying and start living,
stress,
worry
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
60. the love songs of sappho
i am too antsy to read or even to sit in this damn chair right now. frankly, i'm not sure how i'm doing it. all i know is that class is going to be hell at four. 3 hour class and i'm like this right now? no way. i may have to go run around in the halls while i pretend to be getting a drink of water. i don't care. at this point i really don't. reading groups to edit papers? nah who cares? district curriculum units to create? no thank you. sit in the chair and listen to people who annoy me? i'll pass. but i can't because i have to because i can't completely fail these classes. that would be a dishonor to my so far pristine history with the college of education (ha!). anyway, i'm just fucking around. i am really damn antsy and like my head feels like its full of gunk right now. so i'll write out some of my favorites of sappho's mini poems and leave you on that note for today.
The Love Songs of Sappho, translated by Paul Roche
(from 45)
Here where the waters trickle coolly
Through the apply boughs, and ground is shady
with roses, down from the leaves that shiver
Sleep drops slowly.
49
At Last
you have come
and you did well to come
I pined for you.
and n ow you have put a torch to my heart
a flare of love-
o bless you and bless you and bless you:
you are back...
we were parted
50
open your arms
The Love Songs of Sappho, translated by Paul Roche
(from 45)
Here where the waters trickle coolly
Through the apply boughs, and ground is shady
with roses, down from the leaves that shiver
Sleep drops slowly.
49
At Last
you have come
and you did well to come
I pined for you.
and n ow you have put a torch to my heart
a flare of love-
o bless you and bless you and bless you:
you are back...
we were parted
50
open your arms
Pretty One, I'm yours again:
far too long apart
102
the black trance of night
flooded their eyes
117
I Saw Love
I Saw Love
come down from heaven
and fling off his purple cloak
118
keep your honey-bee
and keep your honey
158
no, children, do not delude me.
You mock the good gifts of the Muses
When you say: "Dear Sappho we'll crown you,
Resonant player,
First on the clear sweet lyre..."
Do you not see how I alter:
My skin with its aging,
My black hair gone white,
My legs scarcely carrying
Me, who went dancing
More neatly than fawns once
(neatest of creatures)?
No, no one can cure it; keep beauty from going,
And I cannot help it.
God himself cannot do what cannot be done.
So age follows after and catches
Everything living.
Even rosy-armed Eos, the Dawn,
who ushers in morning to the ends of the earth,
Could not save from the grasp of old age
Her lover immortal Tithonus.
And I too, I know, must waste away.
Yet for me - listen well-
My delight is the exquisite.
Yes, for me,
Glitter and sunlight and love
Are one society.
So I shall not go creeping away
To die in the dark:
I shall go on living with you,
Loving and loved.
Labels:
greek poetry,
honey bees,
love,
paul roche,
sappho,
the love songs of sappho
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
59. a paper on 1940s racism
“Her head lay limp in the crook of his arm and his hand reached for the hem of her dress, caught it in his fingers and gathered it up slowly…He kissed her again and at once she spoke, not a word, but a resigned and prolonged sound that gave forth a meaning of horror accepted..’Bigger… Don’t!” says Bessie, Bigger Thomas’ ‘girl,’ as he forces himself on her in his flight from the police. (Wright 198) Is this the excerpt that a parent might choose to use as evidence to keep this book from a classroom or school library? It is one of many questionable quotes and subjects that Richard Wright’s novel, Native Son, arises to the surface. This book was much more questionable when it was originally published in 1940; however the subjects of racial inequality, rape, murder, and the death penalty are still hot button topics. Native Son was one of a long list of most commonly banned books in schools and libraries. Recently, more sexually explicit and graphically violent books have come to the front line of books not allowed in children’s library collections. Some Christian and religious groups have attempted to censor and take away the freedom to access books with homosexual undertones or with vivid descriptions of such things as masturbation or magic. But where is the line drawn between cautious parents and violation of students’ constitutional rights? While slightly outdated, Wright’s Native Son is a great example of how controversial text can be used to teach history, showcase different writing methods, and initiate discussions, among other things. Literary experts against the censorship of books say that “parents are entitled to voice their views and concerns, [but] in the end the task of selecting readings for the curriculum properly belongs to professional educators,” which is an argument that any teacher could get behind in the context of broadening students’ horizons. (Bertin 18) However the other side of the argument, namely the parents of these students, has a valid point as well that cannot be forgotten in the fight of book censorship. Books such as Harry Potter attract critics that “have called the books anti-religious and demanded that they be removed from public and school libraries.” (Scales 535) Teachers need be careful not to be disrespectful to others’ views, so it is important to pay attention to these complaints.
There is an element of truth to the arguments of those for the censorship of books. Once upon a time, I was a young adult, browsing in the library for a juicy weekend read. I stumbled upon Go Ask Alice, by an anonymous author about the perils of drug abuse. It was a harrowing read for me. I felt that the content warranted that it be snuck into my house and read in secret because my parents were, and still are, quite conservative and protective of their darling daughter. They never would have approved of this book, and, to tell you the truth, the book was a little much for me to handle at that age. I didn’t understand sex, rape, drugs, or runaways; and I had been exposed to them in one of these challenged books, which is exactly why these books need to be read within the guided constructs of a classroom or under the watchful eye of a parent or librarian. Experts agree and say that “when children are exposed to books on disturbing or sensitive topics in school, the experience can open lines of communication with parents, teachers and peers.” (Bertin 19) Youth will most likely find and read these buzzed about books on their own, as I did, and it is best to equip them with the tools to face the content matter. There is validity behind the argument for banning particular books; however that just doesn’t seem to be the right action to take in the face of these touchy novels. The books under fire should become teachable moments, regardless of personal opinion.
Take, for example, Richard Wright’s Native Son. This book covers several topics that are very touchy, such as race, rape, sex, segregation, and murder, just to name a few. Native Son is written from the perspective of a young black man living in 1940’s Chicago. Rigid segregation laws have hardened Bigger Thomas, the main character, making him bitter and utterly hopeless. As he and his friend watch an airplane in the sky, he says “I could fly a plane if I had a chance,” and his friend replies, “If you wasn’t black and if you had some money and if they’d let you go to that aviation school, you could fly a plane.” (Wright 14) The restrictions that the white world has placed on him make him prefer stealing and acting out in violence than working hard for minimum pay and accepting poor treatment. This book is hard to read because it reminds the reader of the pain of segregation when aftereffects continue to affect our nation today. Race is a difficult but necessary topic to discuss in classes, especially in the context of American history and social studies, both of which impact an English classroom. Parents may bristle at the thought of discussing the way white people used to treat African Americans and how it is comparable to the current race relations. Wright uses the word “nigger” several times throughout the book in ugly ways that may be offensive to some readers. This, however, is not the main controversy in Native Son. Bigger takes advantage of his ‘girl,’ Bessie, in a moment of vulnerability. He also has sex several times with her before her murder, and even though it is consensual the first few times, Wright describes it in a way that may not be classroom appropriate. He also writes several graphically violent scenes depicting gruesome murders that would be hard for some readers to digest. Bigger murders Mary, his white employer’s daughter, and then throws her body in the furnace to burn the evidence. In order to fit her body in the furnace, he “whacked at the bone with the knife. The head hung limply, the curly black hair dragging in blood. He whacked harder, but the head would not come off.” (Wright 79). This appalling detail was yet another issue that was brought to the front of the table when concerned parents asked for this book to be removed from curriculum and school libraries.
While these are valid concerns, it remains to be seen that these are all issues that are topics of discussion among students. At such a vulnerable age, rape, race relations, and sex are important items on the discussion docket. There are a lot of conflicting viewpoints and even laws about these particular subjects that need to be addressed in order to turn students into responsible citizens before they are let loose in the world. A classroom is a safe environment to start a running dialogue about topics that matter for students. Books remain an invaluable starting point for such discussions.
It could be argued that Native Son could be used in an English classroom as a study of writing styles and the effect of grammar usage and dialogue alone. Native Son is a great instance of realist writing. To quote an article on Native Son’s literary style, “[It] is a realist text that does effectively critique American class and race relations, in ways that would seem to baffle the charges of reaction and conservatism [that] more contemporary critics would level at the realist mode.” (DeCoste 130). Good examples of particular writing styles are hard enough for a teacher to find, much less ones that cover interesting topics that students will show passion about in discussion and writing. The addition of the controversial subject matter makes this an especially enticing read for young adults. How many titles on the top banned book list are bestsellers? How many of these titles shot to the top of the bestseller lists after they were under fire for censorship issues? Attempting to ban books often calls more attention to the scandalous nature of the book, circulating the main idea that is so troubling to those trying to censor it in the first place.
So is it worth it to ban access to certain books? Or is banning those novels only making them more prolific? It is hard to say whether or not banning a book will actually keep it out of children’s hands, but it is easy to see what the children will be missing out on when certain books are taken from curriculum. The National Coalition Against Censorship agrees that “literature not only sharpens language and analytical skills but also allows young people to explore the world vicariously and better understand the world around them.” (Bertin 19) The lessons found in hot button reading are irreplaceable. If a classroom was robbed of Native Son, lessons about America’s racial past and the hardships of the death penalty would certainly not be properly introduced and it would not inspire thoughtful discussions that may not have been introduced otherwise.
**************************************************************************************
Well, what grade do you give it?
There is an element of truth to the arguments of those for the censorship of books. Once upon a time, I was a young adult, browsing in the library for a juicy weekend read. I stumbled upon Go Ask Alice, by an anonymous author about the perils of drug abuse. It was a harrowing read for me. I felt that the content warranted that it be snuck into my house and read in secret because my parents were, and still are, quite conservative and protective of their darling daughter. They never would have approved of this book, and, to tell you the truth, the book was a little much for me to handle at that age. I didn’t understand sex, rape, drugs, or runaways; and I had been exposed to them in one of these challenged books, which is exactly why these books need to be read within the guided constructs of a classroom or under the watchful eye of a parent or librarian. Experts agree and say that “when children are exposed to books on disturbing or sensitive topics in school, the experience can open lines of communication with parents, teachers and peers.” (Bertin 19) Youth will most likely find and read these buzzed about books on their own, as I did, and it is best to equip them with the tools to face the content matter. There is validity behind the argument for banning particular books; however that just doesn’t seem to be the right action to take in the face of these touchy novels. The books under fire should become teachable moments, regardless of personal opinion.
Take, for example, Richard Wright’s Native Son. This book covers several topics that are very touchy, such as race, rape, sex, segregation, and murder, just to name a few. Native Son is written from the perspective of a young black man living in 1940’s Chicago. Rigid segregation laws have hardened Bigger Thomas, the main character, making him bitter and utterly hopeless. As he and his friend watch an airplane in the sky, he says “I could fly a plane if I had a chance,” and his friend replies, “If you wasn’t black and if you had some money and if they’d let you go to that aviation school, you could fly a plane.” (Wright 14) The restrictions that the white world has placed on him make him prefer stealing and acting out in violence than working hard for minimum pay and accepting poor treatment. This book is hard to read because it reminds the reader of the pain of segregation when aftereffects continue to affect our nation today. Race is a difficult but necessary topic to discuss in classes, especially in the context of American history and social studies, both of which impact an English classroom. Parents may bristle at the thought of discussing the way white people used to treat African Americans and how it is comparable to the current race relations. Wright uses the word “nigger” several times throughout the book in ugly ways that may be offensive to some readers. This, however, is not the main controversy in Native Son. Bigger takes advantage of his ‘girl,’ Bessie, in a moment of vulnerability. He also has sex several times with her before her murder, and even though it is consensual the first few times, Wright describes it in a way that may not be classroom appropriate. He also writes several graphically violent scenes depicting gruesome murders that would be hard for some readers to digest. Bigger murders Mary, his white employer’s daughter, and then throws her body in the furnace to burn the evidence. In order to fit her body in the furnace, he “whacked at the bone with the knife. The head hung limply, the curly black hair dragging in blood. He whacked harder, but the head would not come off.” (Wright 79). This appalling detail was yet another issue that was brought to the front of the table when concerned parents asked for this book to be removed from curriculum and school libraries.
While these are valid concerns, it remains to be seen that these are all issues that are topics of discussion among students. At such a vulnerable age, rape, race relations, and sex are important items on the discussion docket. There are a lot of conflicting viewpoints and even laws about these particular subjects that need to be addressed in order to turn students into responsible citizens before they are let loose in the world. A classroom is a safe environment to start a running dialogue about topics that matter for students. Books remain an invaluable starting point for such discussions.
It could be argued that Native Son could be used in an English classroom as a study of writing styles and the effect of grammar usage and dialogue alone. Native Son is a great instance of realist writing. To quote an article on Native Son’s literary style, “[It] is a realist text that does effectively critique American class and race relations, in ways that would seem to baffle the charges of reaction and conservatism [that] more contemporary critics would level at the realist mode.” (DeCoste 130). Good examples of particular writing styles are hard enough for a teacher to find, much less ones that cover interesting topics that students will show passion about in discussion and writing. The addition of the controversial subject matter makes this an especially enticing read for young adults. How many titles on the top banned book list are bestsellers? How many of these titles shot to the top of the bestseller lists after they were under fire for censorship issues? Attempting to ban books often calls more attention to the scandalous nature of the book, circulating the main idea that is so troubling to those trying to censor it in the first place.
So is it worth it to ban access to certain books? Or is banning those novels only making them more prolific? It is hard to say whether or not banning a book will actually keep it out of children’s hands, but it is easy to see what the children will be missing out on when certain books are taken from curriculum. The National Coalition Against Censorship agrees that “literature not only sharpens language and analytical skills but also allows young people to explore the world vicariously and better understand the world around them.” (Bertin 19) The lessons found in hot button reading are irreplaceable. If a classroom was robbed of Native Son, lessons about America’s racial past and the hardships of the death penalty would certainly not be properly introduced and it would not inspire thoughtful discussions that may not have been introduced otherwise.
**************************************************************************************
Well, what grade do you give it?
Labels:
1940s,
essays,
grading,
native son,
richard wright
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
55, 56, 57, 58. what is a stump in the road that costs a lot of money? school.




The Language of Baklava, Diana Abu-Jaber
Is It Done Yet?, Barry Gilmore
Voyager, Diana Gabaldon
Leaf Man, Ehlert (you caught me- this one is indeed a picture book for children, but i have to write a literary analysis of it and i had to go to the library to check it out, so i'm counting it)
The Language of Baklava freakishly mirrored my life/future life and i loved every bit of it except for the beginning when they kill the lamb. but they felt bad about that, so i'll let it slide. the recipes in it were some of the habibi's favorite and it was really fun learning about another culture through the memories of a child, then the eyes of that child as a grown-up. more later on all of these books, if i get a chance. perhaps not until next year, once my reading goal is completed ;)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
53.& 54. charlie's literary chocolate factory and a vat of vanity

on a lighter note, i also read a magazine that had as much verbiage as a book, and was just as thought-provoking and informative, so I am counting the August 2010 issue of "Vanity Fair" as my number 54. this is also on the same brain wave as literary pricks and high horses, however i like to think of vanity fair as high brow. i felt so classy buying this magazine rather than that trashy crap (that i love) that i usually buy. i also learned a lot from this issue: for example: frank gehry is a famous architect who used a fish as a model of movement for inspiration; angelina is thinking of giving up acting (yeah right); saudi arabia is an interesting place for foreigners- hard to penetrate, but once in, very welcoming; and finally, betty white's 'most treasured possession' is her golden retreiver. i only wish they had told me what his or her's name was. i would like to know what betty white names her dogs, i think they would be amusing and cute.
Monday, August 30, 2010
52. in the kitchen with God's wife...
The Kitchen God's Wife, by Amy Tan
this was a heartbreaking book. men can be truly horrendous (that's all i got from this book.... just kidding). i honestly had a really cool insight into this book last night, but i was so close to finishing it that i thought i would wait to write about it until i finished it. big mistake. because guess what? now i've forgotten what it was. if i remember, i'll be back, don't you worry.
Labels:
amy tan,
men,
relationships,
the kitchen god's wife
Saturday, August 28, 2010
51. Fourth coming
this is appropriate to record my reading of Fourth Comings today of all days because i am precisely in the mood of neurotic, over-thinking, over-analyzing jessica darling. i just want to know where he is. what he is doing. but most of all, if he's okay. i have spent my entire summer spending no less than 12 hours a day by someone's side and the second day after my car drives away from that home, we stopped talking. not because we are angry or over each other or anything like that, but because i had limited availabilty to talk to this bf who my parents dont know about as i was at home to celelbrate my father's bday. so i called and left him messages- his phone was turned off, i'm assuming because the power was dead. when i pulled out of my hometown, i ccalled- the phone was on, but no answer. i left messages. i kept trying to call (like an insane person, but he knows im not, and he sometimes does the same thing, and we love each other so we know it is out of love not insanity that we keep hitting redial). nothing all day yesterday. fine- he was (and still probably is) busy. nothing all night. no answer at any time. he hasn't been online since the day i left, according to skype info. and he still hasn't called back. nor have his friends replied to my text asking if they'd heard from him (i know, i'm crazy..... forgive me). i just want to hear his voice and talk to him and see how he is doing/what he's been up to lately/ how ramadan is going.... you know, the usual. i can barely focus on anything. it's kind of sucky. plus it's already one of those sucky saturdays where you lay around in your own filth too late, and eat crap that doesn't belong in the breakfast section of your diet, and take an afternoon shower, and do nothing even though it is nice outside. maybe that's because i don't have anyone to do anything with. where are you babe? i miss you so much.
and thus ends my jessica darling-esque freak-out. damn i am still freaking out. what if something happened to him? i just need to take a deep breath. maybe watch some more office? maybe go on a walk (by myself)? damn, this town sucks right now.
Labels:
fourth comings,
insane,
jessica darling,
megan mccafferty,
neurotic,
rant,
saturdays,
sucky emotions
Monday, August 23, 2010
49. everything is illuminated in the dark
Jonathan Safran Foer's Everything is Illuminated
I am always intrigued by how much darkness amplifies things. Waking up from a scary dream in the dark is much more terrifying than waking up in light. The sounds you hear outside and inside are much louder when it is nighttime. Even your sight seems to increase in the dark- little things you never noticed during the daylight are much more noticeable when they are ensconced in shadow. Feelings seem to also seem much more intense in the night hours. But is that because the rest of the world seems to be asleep (or wide awake when you want to be asleep.... aka the partying neighbors)? And there is less to think about because you are left to your own devices? I am currently left to my own devices and I am a little upset. I should be snuggled up and snoozing right now, but i am not. do certain things, like darkness, illuminate other aspects of life? Does the past illuminate the future (or vice versa)? Does the absence or presence of family/friends/loves illuminate our own selves? In my mind this is what Safran Foer was trying to ask.... maybe I'm wrong.
Good book, though. The past and the future and the friends and the family and the lightness and darkness and absence and presence of sound illuminate ourselves and our true identities. And there is nothing we can do to change that.
I am always intrigued by how much darkness amplifies things. Waking up from a scary dream in the dark is much more terrifying than waking up in light. The sounds you hear outside and inside are much louder when it is nighttime. Even your sight seems to increase in the dark- little things you never noticed during the daylight are much more noticeable when they are ensconced in shadow. Feelings seem to also seem much more intense in the night hours. But is that because the rest of the world seems to be asleep (or wide awake when you want to be asleep.... aka the partying neighbors)? And there is less to think about because you are left to your own devices? I am currently left to my own devices and I am a little upset. I should be snuggled up and snoozing right now, but i am not. do certain things, like darkness, illuminate other aspects of life? Does the past illuminate the future (or vice versa)? Does the absence or presence of family/friends/loves illuminate our own selves? In my mind this is what Safran Foer was trying to ask.... maybe I'm wrong.
Good book, though. The past and the future and the friends and the family and the lightness and darkness and absence and presence of sound illuminate ourselves and our true identities. And there is nothing we can do to change that.
Labels:
absence,
everything is illuminated,
family,
friends,
jonathan safran foer,
night,
presence
Saturday, August 21, 2010
48. The Lost Symbol
Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
Creepy, but cool. Lots and lots to think about. I wish I would have sat down and written about it right away, but I didn't, so I'm working from memory here. Luckily I scribbled down some brief thoughts on the book right away, so I'll just transfer them here (they might not make a whole lot of sense, but we'll see....) while this book had some definitely creepy shit in it, it was a fascinating read. dan brown is kind of sick to think up some of those cultish, murderous things that happen in this thriller, but he's also some kind of genius to be able to piece together ancient mysteries like this (i liked the da vinci code too). anywho, here's my chickenscratch on the book that i just found:
if God is man- then He is not fair becaues humans can use the power of knowledge for good or evil. If God is man, who says what "good" is? Man can literally materialize things with their minds- the created becomes creator. literally. all religions encompass the idea that mand and God are created by each other....
Labels:
conspiracy,
dan brown,
evil,
God,
man,
the lost symbol
Friday, August 13, 2010
friday the 13th
i dont want to think a lot tonight, which is a moot point anyway, because i think i am incapable of any sort of coherent thuoght. all i know is that i am a woman estranged. on friday the 13th. m y bouy (yes, i meant to misspell boy for buoy, because he really does keep me afloat) has gone rafting.... otherwise knkonw as party the night before, hungover splashed in the face with glacial water the next mornign. i hnope that he is driving safely as we speak. he is my buoy. my safe harbor in the storm of life = he keeps me afloat. there are weird noises coming from outside and i do'nt like being left alone, do you? does anyone? isn't our purpose on this earth to make something of ourselves so that somone can see that and join it and just love one another. why all this co-creating. people are co-creating houses, children, apartments, food, wardrobes.,,,, when did we ever create our own and put oour own personal stamp on it before the requirements for approval became "we" stamps. not that there's anything wrong with the we stamp .. i love slinging them out on friends and neighbors- we like such and such or on coworkers, we have plans to see this tonight and then stay up late a grope. ha ha just kidding i would never say that to a coworker. or really anyone outside my close perrsonal group of friends (you know who you are) i am in love with him and we love each other are like the two best zingy couple comments i can make right now,,, except there are nutritional myth busters coming at me from my computer from someplace that i truly cannot locate the source, but i am enjoying these debunks. anyway, see you later. we are going to bed. except that we are not- we are going to bed in two separate places which makes me a little sad :( i will miss my habibi this evening) love u baby!
**goodnight world!**
**goodnight world!**
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
47. a journey to the east
The Journey to the East by Herman Hesse
I sat down and read this book cover to cover in an hour and a half at the library. It was fairly little, with big print, so I picked it up, recognizing the author's name and going for a quick classic. It was one of those books that seems to have some kind of bigger meaning that you know you aren't picking up on because it is so basic. Instead of relating my boring anecdotes, I will just type out the (lengthy) but cool quotes:
"I agree with Siddhartha, our wise friend form the East, who once said: Words do not express thoughts very well; everything immediately becomes a little different, a little distorted, a little foolish. And yet it also pleases me and seems right that what is of value and wisdom to one man seems nonsense to another."
"The whole of world history often seems to me nothing more than a picture book which portra7s humanity's most powerful and senseless desire- the desire to forget. Does not each generation by means of suppression, concealment and ridicule, efface what the previous generation considered most important?"
"I imagine that every historian is similarly affected when he begins to record the events of some period and wishes to portray them sincerely. Where is the center of events, the common standpoint, around which they evolve and which gives them cohesion, something like causality, that some kind of meaning might ensue and that it can in some way be narrated, the historian must invent units, a hero, a nation, an idea, and he must allow to happen to this invented unit what has in reality, happened to the nameless."
So what am I missing?
I sat down and read this book cover to cover in an hour and a half at the library. It was fairly little, with big print, so I picked it up, recognizing the author's name and going for a quick classic. It was one of those books that seems to have some kind of bigger meaning that you know you aren't picking up on because it is so basic. Instead of relating my boring anecdotes, I will just type out the (lengthy) but cool quotes:
"I agree with Siddhartha, our wise friend form the East, who once said: Words do not express thoughts very well; everything immediately becomes a little different, a little distorted, a little foolish. And yet it also pleases me and seems right that what is of value and wisdom to one man seems nonsense to another."
"The whole of world history often seems to me nothing more than a picture book which portra7s humanity's most powerful and senseless desire- the desire to forget. Does not each generation by means of suppression, concealment and ridicule, efface what the previous generation considered most important?"

"Brother H. was led to despair in his test, and despair is the result of each earnest attempt to understand and vindicate human life. Depsair is the result of each earnest attempt to through life with virtue, justice and understanding and to fulfil their requirement. Children live one one side of despair, the awakened on the other side."
Monday, August 2, 2010
46. letting go- by being a blonde!
Letting Go, by Mara Fox
Alright, it's a cheesy romance novel, so what? it's the summer time. which means every one needs a little cheesy romance. everyone needs to let go in some sense of the word. i let go of my dark hair recently- i am now a blonde! i can't even believe it- yesterday morning when i looked in the mirror in the morning i didn't even recognize myself for a second. tell me that's not a freaky thing to do! other than that, i'm trying to let go my death grip on old ways. the old me used to be quite clingy. and possessive. and lazy. but i'm trying to buck up and let go a little bit on the things in life. if they are really so good for me, God will keep them close to my heart right? and a little hard work never killed anyone *knock on wood*. so, dear reader, if there is in fact anyone reading this, what are you going to let go of?
Labels:
blonde,
changes,
harlequin,
letting go,
mara fox,
mediterranean summer,
romance
Friday, July 23, 2010
i like to read blue books (but not write in them)
im exhausted. why am i up at 3:22 in the morning then? you ask... who knows. watching a peaceful sleeper only seems to make the insomnia worse too. look how cozy and comfortable and utterly sound asleep that person is. and me? i am awake. typing to the sweet sounds of gentle snoring. (which is actually kind of cute). i haven't finished a book yet to be typing about that.... i am in the middle of 'quiet your mind' by john selby, 'a thousand acres' by jane smiley, and 'the satanic verses' by rushdie. interestingly enough, both covers of the first two listed are blue. as are about half of the other covers of the books from previous blog entries. i wonder if this is purely coincidence? or do publishers realize that these newer novels should be blue in order to boost sales as blue is a calming color that makes you put down your guard and spend money?? or am i drawn to the books with blue on the spine- thinking maybe a little blue will soothe me and kick depression into a tailspin. who knows? anywho, i'm going to go enojy a few pages of a thousand acres and hopefully get back to you soon with a detailed report on why or why not i agree or disagree with the critics' choice to award it a pulitzer. du du duuuuhhhhh til next week* m
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
45. finally! a satisfying chick lit/mystery novel!
Goodnight Nobody, Jennifer Weiner
I will be the first to admit that i hated Jennifer Weiner's novel, Good in Bed. I thought it sucked, but perhaps the content matter just wasn't for me. she reminds me a lot of emily giffin, in fact, this book mirrored love the one you're with in a lot of ways, but kicked its ass, quality-wise. in fact, i almost couldn't put this one down. well, i could, but i was having a little personal drama that was keeping my mind racing and occupied, so i could only focus on a novel for so long before i went into hysterics over-analyzing my own situation. but that is all sorted out now thank goodness, and i was able to finish this book in the peace and sanctity of a (cold! a breeze!) bedroom :) and it was a satisfying read. i had no idea who it would be or why or ????? as much as i like out-smarting the heroes in mystery novels, i really enjoy being lead on til the very end. these sorts of novels remind me of how exhilarating a good Nancy Drew book used to be when I was younger. i read all of the newer, paperback, modern Nancy Drews and most of the old hardcovers (my mom used to buy me those 4 packs of the old Nancy Drews that they sold all wrapped in plastic in the book section of Costco when I'd been especially good- i remember ripping into that plastic and cracking the hard plastic/cardboard spine and just knowing it would be a really good night filled with old windmills and adventures with Bess and dreamy Ned. oh those were the good ol days). now, nothing will ever replace the thrill and excitement of classic nancy drew literature, but this wasn't too bad..... a great birthday present from my sister-in-law, and i wish it hadn't took me so long to get to it.
Labels:
chick lit,
emily giffin,
goodnight nobody,
jennifer weiner,
mystery,
nancy drew
44. some secrets stay secret, but are they still lost?

Saturday, July 10, 2010
43. not so smitten with this reading

i wish i could just disappear in one of my novels and become one of the characters who loves comes to so easily and eagerly sometimes. is that why i read so much? but my life is so good when its good. and it was until this morning and now i can't even focus on the next book i'm reading because i can't stop thinking about how much it hurts and how much more it might hurt if..... i ccan't even say it. i hope and pray for anyone out there in my predicament and i hope i can make it- no, i hope WE can make it through....
Labels:
broken heart,
difficulties,
janet evanovich,
life,
love,
relationships,
smitten
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
42. the queen of blah blah blah (a.k.a. the queen of predictability)
meg cabot, author of the famed princess diary series, wrote the queen of babble, which was apparently made for boring holiday weekends where you need something to flip through quickly..... i know, that's a little harsh, but i'm sorry, i cannot read any more books where the protagonist antagonizes over EVERY LITTLE DETAIL.... over and over and over again. i had had enough of this from my last emily giffin experience (see: #41), but at least that was life changing stuff like adultery and resentment and dead mothers..... this queen of babble, lizzie, is convinced she's in love with a boy she hung out with for one night and e-mailed for a few months so she goes to live with him in england for the summer. um, excuse me? when did girls become so stupid? oh, right, i went through that phase in 7th GRADE! come on, get real ms. cabot! yes, girls are silly sometimes about matters of the heart, but not stupid enough to move after one night of making out in a dorm room. and her "silly" antics where she can't keep her "big fat mouth shut" are unbearable. give me a break! (break me off a piece of that kit-kat-bar! ha ha) now that i have gotten all of that out of my system, this book wasn't all bad. the plot line was kind of fun and it is always nice to see the clueless, down on her luck (supposedly), happy go lucky girl get what she wants. and i did enjoy her passion for fashion that comes out in the writing. that is always refreshing to see someone who knows a lot about their passions. but i think in the future, i will just pretend i'm a teenager again and go back to the princess diaries. at least that unreality is realistic. wait, what?
Labels:
7th grade,
big fat mouth,
details,
emily giffin,
meg cabot,
overanalyzing,
queen of babble
Thursday, July 1, 2010
41. love the one you're with.... because you are with them?
Now, I normally love Emily Giffin's work, which is why I read Love the One You're With, her fourth novel, with enthusiasm this last week. Unfortunately Ellen, her main character in this one, wouldn't stop bitching and overanalyzing her perfect little life with an amazing husband and family and job yada yada yada. she is so full of resentment for i don't even know what that it was a real pain in the ass to read. especially when she turns that resentment and boredom into a possible affair with an ex-lover who everybody knows is a jerk..... i couldn't stand it. if you don't let go of past loves, do you block the possibility of full love for your future? or do you open up different places in your heart for those new loves? most people will probably sympathize with giffin's main character's holding a flame for a past love, but her bitching and whining and then sort of blurring the lines on what she can and can't do with this flame? not so much. suck it up, yeah?
that being said, this book made me feel that there is another layer to love that we don't understand until it is tested and really thought about- commitment. time commitments are one thing. commiting to love somebody through the difficult parts of life and the great parts? something else entirely. it's a boring aspect of love to ponder when you consider all of the wonderful, swept off-your-feet lovey stuff, but it's something that makes real love real. i suppose that's why the wedding ceremony is such and important and vital part of love- it's making that solid commitment in front of people (with witnesses-ha ha-) to hold on to your love and cherish it and ride it through the hard parts and the joy rides. yet another reason why i love LOVE. there are so many parts that pop up and swirl together and mix up to make the most perfect and most difficult emotions that a human can face. heartbreak sucks, but when its all said and done, being in love with someone who you are committed to and learning everything about that love is worth any past pain and hardship with any other sub-par love. awwww love is so sweet*
that being said, this book made me feel that there is another layer to love that we don't understand until it is tested and really thought about- commitment. time commitments are one thing. commiting to love somebody through the difficult parts of life and the great parts? something else entirely. it's a boring aspect of love to ponder when you consider all of the wonderful, swept off-your-feet lovey stuff, but it's something that makes real love real. i suppose that's why the wedding ceremony is such and important and vital part of love- it's making that solid commitment in front of people (with witnesses-ha ha-) to hold on to your love and cherish it and ride it through the hard parts and the joy rides. yet another reason why i love LOVE. there are so many parts that pop up and swirl together and mix up to make the most perfect and most difficult emotions that a human can face. heartbreak sucks, but when its all said and done, being in love with someone who you are committed to and learning everything about that love is worth any past pain and hardship with any other sub-par love. awwww love is so sweet*
Labels:
commitment,
emily giffin,
infidelity,
love,
love the one you're with,
past-loves
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